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Sallie Norquist, PhD, is a licensed psychologist with over
20 years of experience. She is co-founder and director of Chaitanya Counseling and Stress
Management Center. Dr. Norquist is especially excited about assisting clients (through
life coaching and therapy) to access their own inner wisdom, to lead more empowered,
enlivened lives. She views health as something achieved through active involvement on the
part of each individual in respecting, honoring, and taking responsibility for their
physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. Since 1997, Dr. Norquist has been
writing a weekly column for the Hudson Reporter, in Hudson County, called "Enlivening
Ourselves." She has experience assisting clients who are experiencing
depression, anxiety, stress, panic attacks, relationship concerns, spiritual issues,
grief, chronic illness, a desire to uncover their true life purpose, and a need for
overall enhanced well being in their lives. She is currently training in Somatic
Experiencing (SE), a body-oriented psychotherapeutic technique, that is especially
effective in healing trauma, and managing anxiety, panic and anger.
Dr. Sallie Norquist writes a weekly column for the Hudson Reporter newspapers,
in Hudson County, N.J.
(http://www.hudsonreporter.com) |
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Dr. Norquist answers questions about life and relationships from a
holistic, spiritual orientation. Her intention is to assist people in empowering
themselves, and provide meaningful concepts and recommendations that have practical
applications.
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Do you have
a question for Dr. Norquist ?
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From the weekly columns ...
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Enlivening Ourselves
By Dr. Sallie Norquist
Dear Dr. Norquist:
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I’m feeling deeply hurt
and let down by a trusted friend. She had been a loyal and supportive and consistent
friend to me during a difficult time in my life. Recently, I found out that she has been
lying to me and even taking some of my belongings behind my back. I feel so deeply hurt. I
can’t seem to get rid of these painful feelings. How can I get rid of these hurt
feelings? I don’t want to feel hurt anymore, and I’m afraid I will have trouble
trusting people again after being so hurt.
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Dr. Norquist responds:
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What heals a wounded heart? It is love
that is the healer, and compassion and gratitude that help us to be open to feeling love
again. Watch your mental habits. If you focus on ways the other has done you wrong, the
appropriate angry and victimized emotions will follow. If you try to put yourself in the
others’ shoes, and understand emotionally why they did what they did, you open your
heart for the experience of compassion. In tending to your heart, focus on the best that
can come of this situation, and wish well for others. Focus your heart on safe, positive
places - a child’s smile, laughter, soaking in the sunlight, listening to the spring
birds. Fill your heart with gratitude for a body that works, for the ability to breathe
deeply, for those who love you, for the chance to grow, for a good nights rest, for the
ability to see beauty in the world, to enjoy music, and to feel love and appreciation for
others. Take a lesson from the blades of grass pushing up in the spring. They have the
will to keep going despite burdens. They grow around rocks, through cracks, and reach for
the light in order to blossom into their strength and express their joy.
Let your feelings, whatever they are, run through you, and then let
them go. There is an end to acheing. It will pass. You must take care of yourself by
finding ways to re-open your heart, so that you can feel connected with life again in a
nourishing way. Let time heal your wounds, while you focus on the gentle, often unnoticed
sparks of joy in the world.
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| Dear Dr. Norquist: |
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I don’t seem to enjoy my life
anymore. I spend most of my time working, trying to get everything done, taking care of my
responsibilities day in and day out. Life has become something I do everyday because it
has to be done (like cleaning my room when I was a kid). I don’t seem to have any fun
anymore. Do you have any advice for me? I would like to enjoy life more. |
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I’ve noticed that many people seem
to associate adulthood with seriousness, responsibilities and burdens. We do have more
responsibilities as adults, however, does being an adult mean we have to carry our
responsibilities so seriously and burdensomely? Can we be responsible, yet light-hearted?
Having fun necessitates being in the present moment. Have you ever
noticed that? You can’t save a good laugh for later, when you are done with your
work. It has to be experienced in the moment. I have the impression that many of us
subconsciously tell ourselves "I’ll be happy when…" …I have
enough money to pay the bills, or …I can move to the suburbs, or …when my work
is done, or …when I can leave my husband, etc. However, when that time comes, (i.e.,
when we have enough money to pay the bills, etc.), we find we have already moved on to
another "I’ll be happy when …" internal phrase. The future is always
in the future. Happiness, fun, and enjoyment are always in the present. Life will always
present something else that you can worry about, fear, or be angry about. If you wait for
everything to be perfect, in order for you to enjoy your life, your life will continue to
slip by, and enjoyment will elude you.
Make a conscious decision to start practicing being in the moment, and
being open to life. Let your children and/or your pet be your teacher in this arena.
Notice that they are not caught up in their thoughts (which is what keeps us from the
present moment, and keeps our anxieties, fears, and anger alive). Take some time out to
feel the air on your skin, feel your heart beating, see the vibrant colors around you, the
varied shapes, forms and textures, the smells, the sound of the wind, the warmth of
someone’s smile. Soak it all in, and recognize the richness of life that is here for
your enjoyment. Enjoyment is there for the taking, we’ve just forgotten how to take
it in.
(Dr. Sallie Norquist is a licensed psychologist (NJ
#2371) in private practice and is director of Chaitanya Counseling and Stress Management
Center, a center for upliftment and enlivenment, in Hoboken.)
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| Dr. Norquist and the staff of Chaitanya invite you
to write them at Chaitanya Counseling and Stress Management Center, 51 Newark St., Suite
202, Hoboken, NJ 07030 or www.chaitanya.com or by e-mail at drnorquist@chaitanya.com, or
by fax at (201) 656-4700. Questions can
address various topics, including relationships, life’s stresses, difficulties,
mysteries and dilemmas, as well as questions related to managing stress or alternative
ways of understanding and treating physical symptoms and health-related concerns.
Practitioners of the following techniques are available to answer your questions:
psychology, life coaching, acupuncture, therapeutic and neuromuscular massage, meditation,
spiritual & transpersonal psychology, Reiki, Cranial Sacral Therapy, and Alexander
Technique (c) 2005 Chaitanya Counseling and Stress Management Center |
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Chaitanya Counseling
and Stress Management Center
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